Sep
12
Staying Sane With Dating Relationships
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The types of relationships friends provide have extraordinary health benefits. In one study, researchers report that stressed hamsters with skin wounds that were paired up with other hamsters healed faster than those that were left alone.
The hamsters with friends also produced less cortisol, a stress hormone that creates negative emotions. Truly having a social network of friends enriches our lives and ensures a healthier, happier existence.
dating relationships
To create the type of relationships that friends need, you must first create time for them. It’s simply not possible to physically see every single friend each day, but phoning, emailing, sending cards in the mail and text messaging friends to let them know you’re thinking of them can go a long way.
Sometimes the easiest way to make time for seeing friends is to pick one mutual hobby you can do each week together, such as a yoga class, a weekly game night, a movie night, join a hockey league, choose a day and time to meet at your favorite bar or coffee shop, etc.
You need to make your friends a priority to reap any benefits from your healthy relationships. You want be there for the good times, such as for weddings, graduations and birthday parties, yet you also need to be there for the bad times too; for the funerals, the surgeries and the breakups.
healthy relationships
Even though the dating relationships provide are essential, we should be careful not to place too much burden on any one person. “Just as no marriage can meet our every need for intimacy, neither can a single friendship,” wrote Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in their book,
What Every Mom Needs. When we expect one friend to meet all of our needs for daily stimulation, support, companionship and advice, we inadvertently begin to suffocate him or her. We may even become possessive of that friendship and attempt to control that person.
Instead, we should look to several different interpersonal relationships to satisfy our needs. You’ll find more people want to be around you in no time!
new relationships
When we are kids, it’s easy to acquire relationships friends provide. We find them at school, in after-school activities, in the neighborhood and through our parents. However, once we’re older and married, we may see our social relationships dwindle. There are many places for you to make romance relationships with people.
You can take your pet to a dog park, join a gym class, join a cause or hobby group, get involved at your kids’ school, join a church, organize a block party or go back to school. Even so, it’s important that you don’t forget about maintaining healthy relationships with your friends, who will be there to rejoice over your triumphs and support you when times get tough.
Aug
24
Being Comfortable With Intimate Relationships
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Positive personal relationships can provide great strength during hard times. They can add to our self-esteem, boost our confidence and illuminate our admirable traits. Their presence can help us determine what is “normal” and how we compare to society, at large.
They can be a daily comfort to our psyche and make life so much more fulfilling. Conversely, negative social relationships can tear at our sanity and cause extreme stress, depression, loneliness, anxiety and frustration.
intimate relationships
The keys to successful personal relationships are often the same, regardless of what type of relationship you’re looking to strengthen, be it friend, coworker, family member or romance relationships. For instance, being assertive and drawing clear boundaries is a good practice in any relationship.
First you must explore your own feelings and decide what your limits are. Next, you will need to assert yourself using “I” statements, as well as cause-and-effect consequences. For instance, you might say, “I dislike being tickled because it makes me feel powerless and uncomfortable.
If you tickle me again, I will have to leave.” If the person violates your boundaries, then you must stick to your guns and do as promised to reinforce those boundaries. Over time, you may note that the other person cannot adhere to your boundaries and you may come to the conclusion that he or she does not actually respect you.
While it may be a tough conclusion to reach, you couldn’t have come to the truth without first setting boundaries.
long distance relationships
Another way to bolster any of your intimate relationships is to learn to manage your anger better. Anger can be an extremely detrimental to building relationships, parent/child relationships, workplace relationships or friendships. Feeling anger is not the problem; rather, the problem arises from our mismanagement of anger.
The first step to managing your anger is to understand the triggers, both the superficial triggers and the underlying triggers. For example, you might blow your top over your spouse forgetting an anniversary. Yet, beneath that, you may see a pattern of behavior because your spouse also forgot to get you anything for Valentine’s Day, forgot to tell you all his friends were coming over last weekend, forgot to tell you your mother called and forgot to call to say he’d be home late from the bar.
Perhaps you’re really feeling like he doesn’t consider your feelings or inform you on important matters. Try not to fly off the handle over every little event in your social relationships and remember that there is a statute of limitations on arguments, so don’t drag them on forever!
In any of your personal relationships, “Disagreements are going to occur,” says Dr. Phil. “The question is, do you go into it with a spirit of looking for resolution or do you go into it with a spirit of getting even, for vengeance or to gain control? You’ll never win if you do that.
building relationships
If you make your personal relationships a competition, then that means your spouse has to lose in order for you to win. It’s not a competition, it’s a partnership.” Whether you’re looking into marriage counseling or seeking healthy relationships with friends, family or coworkers, it’s important that you stop feeling like a victim and take responsibility for your feelings and your behaviors.
Jul
17
Help Seniors in Your Community
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As we age, we often lose our physical strength, medical health, mobility and our independence. This is the case with the majority of Senior Citizens, living within our communities. The truth of the matter is, there are thousands of seniors across the world that needs assistance. Many of them have no family or friends available to help them. That is where you come in. Go for this link, travel hotspots for seniors surely you will get some help to understand this article.
One of the major advantages of a retirement community is that seniors can maintain their independence, while still having the safety net of a medical staff nearby. Residents are able to live their own lives and keep their cars, while their families have the peace of mind knowing someone is close by in case of an emergency.
One of the best ways to help seniors is to see the benefits of a move are to allow them to see what they are moving to. Many communities will allow short stays for prospective residents and others. If your chosen community allows this, it can be a great way to introduce your parent to the new environment, while still letting them “come home again” before making the move permanent. A week or so is a good length of time for a short stay. Perhaps you can do this if you will be away for a vacation of your own or have a business trip planned. I’ve actually heard of aging parents who decide not to return to their former residence once they’ve tried out their new community!Check out http://www.whereseniorsmeet.com/blog/main for more informative resources.
We need to think that there is no one in their life to help them so we need to analyze this, and think by ourselves that if we will not help them then who will come to their rescue? We need to make happy at any cost and need to support and help them at every point of time.
Jul
12
Marriage Counselor For Improved Marital Health
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Couples with poor communication skills, who are prone to criticizing each other could be destined to fail, if their behavioral patterns aren’t caught in time. The answer is an annual visit to a couples counselor, says Dr. James Cordova, Ph.D., head of a study on marital health check ups.
“So much is what is predictive of a deteriorating relationship is difficult for the couple to detect,” he explains. While not every marriage is salvageable, many couples report that the “mutually agreed upon chance to start over” led to a number of significant improvements, both in habits and in attitudes.
couples counselor
In the sessions with a couples counselor, Cordova identified several trouble areas. Most notably was the inability to fit their marriage into a busy schedule. He says with some creative problem solving, licensed counselors can help couples find a way to make time. Often poor communication leaves many spouses coming off overly critical, triggering the other person’s deep-seated emotions and feeling emotional drained.
It is not all strife and turmoil in the marriage therapy sessions, however. Sometimes couples may need to see licensed professional counselors, read books or simply spend more time together.
The initial results of these annual counseling sessions for couples have been promising, Cordova reports. In the first 68 couples, most reported increased marital satisfaction, improvements in intimacy and a higher level of cooperation and acceptance in their households.
“People that have been through the marriage checkup are improving in all kinds of ways in comparison to couples who haven’t.” He admits that some couples will undoubtedly relapse, as anyone would in medical or emotional therapy, yet those with access to treatment always fare better.
licensed counselors
“Essentially, what we’ve discovered over time is that marital health is really a health concern. The qualities of a person’s marriage and the extent to which they are doing well in that marriage has a dramatic effect on physical health and mental health,” said Cordova.
He points out that many studies reveal that couples who stay together often live longer, but also that those who attend sessions with a couples counselor experience fewer physical health issues. Counseling for couples can cost anywhere from $45-$200 per hour, with an average cost of $100; however, when compared to the $1,500-$30,000 for a divorce, it’s chump change for years of bliss and better understanding.
Jun
26
Relationships Need These Tips to Survive
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Things You Should Never Say in Your Relationships
We are all going to fight sometimes in our Relationships, but whether we fight fair is another story. Avoid these phrases and you’ll be one step closer to a happier, healthier relationship.
Are the following phrases part of your vocabulary when dealing with the love of your life? Get rid of these fighting words from your love lingo and you’ll reap the rewards. Don’t do this, and your relationship just might meet the grim reaper!
“Then I guess we shouldn’t be dating!” You wouldn’t tell your boss you’re quitting your job unless you meant it, would you? But sometimes, in a tough relationship, people are tempted to pull out the nuclear option just to get the other person off their backs: “If you don’t like the way I season meat, then you’ll never understand me! We should just break up now!”
Save your breakup talk for when you truly want to end a relationship, not as a rhetorical weapon. Otherwise, you will risk your match taking you up on the offer and leaving you crying over beer for one.
“Why can’t you be the same as my ex?” We all have old flames that have taught us what we do and don’t like in Relationships. But the person you’re with now wants to feel very special, not like the sequel to a bad romantic comedy. Don’t make it sound as though you’re still hung up on your past. Tell your current love specifically how you feel and what you want, but in the context of the present relationship.
“I’m just too tired from working all day to help you with that stuff.” Of course, you’re not lying – you probably really did get exhausted from rushing around and dealing with your boss and his demands all day. But in modern times, when most men and women have taxing jobs outside the home, this is the lamest excuse in the book. Remember, the man or woman you love is probably as exhausted as you, and even if they’re not, they shouldn’t have to pick up your dirty socks, move a couch by themselves, or take the kids to football practice just because you did a little work. If you’re really tired, ask the other person to trade or defer chores. Just do whatever it is eagerly and quickly, so you can have time to relax and enjoy your time together.
Have you ever complained to your loved one that they forgot to do something, and instead of apologizing they brought up something slightly similar that you once did? Everyone makes mistakes, but small infractions done long ago are not hooks to hang your hat on when you want to avoid blame for something you’re doing in the present. “You forgot to feed the dog two years ago!” is no excuse for forgetting to feed the cat today, and bringing up past transgressions simply leads to a large escalation of blame.
It’s hard to come home and find that the kitchen is a mess, but… when was the last time you took out the garbage cans? If you’re going to criticize your spouse or your partner for something they’re neglecting to do, it had better be something you do fairly consistently. Then you’ll come off as a nag who wants the rest of the world to get busy while you always put your feet up.
“You sure are a lousy lover!” You were hoping for fireworks in the sack – but your sweetie is a sparkler at most. Though you may be frustrated, the worst thing you can do in the moment is to ridicule or insult the person you love for their romance. In intimate situations, when a person is sharing a very private and special part of himself or herself with you, they are at their most vulnerable, so angry words are very hurtful.
If you want to heat things up, positive reinforcement yields better results in a relationship than angry criticism. “I’d love it if we could stay in this position” works a lot better than “You never seem to stop squirming!” Being a bully in bed might make your beau yearn for someone a little less selfish.
“You knew I was this way when you met me!” On the one hand, it’s not a good idea to get into a relationship with the intention of changing who someone is. But on the other hand, people naturally change as they grow older, often getting better at time management, financial planning, and social interactions. If one of you is growing and changing and the other is staying stagnant, that’s a huge problem. Claiming that you’re allowed to go drinking every night or leave the toilet seat up because that’s what you did when the two of you started dating is effectively saying “I will never grow or change, so don’t invest any more time in me.”
Instead of freezing your personality in time, address the issue at hand. Come to the table with some things you feel you can really change. Then give logical, personal reasons why you prefer to stay the same about some other things.
With all the relationship-killing things you can say, it may be tempting to say nothing. But talking and interacting with the other person is your principal job in maintaining a relationship!
If you’re not listening to your partner, and not expressing yourself – if you’re always saying “fine” – then your issues will never work their way toward resolution, and your partner won’t be able to feel close to you. If you stifle conversation, you’ll suffocate intimacy as well, and soon find your relationship breathing its last air.
These are all good things to avoid saying when speaking to a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even someone you’re beginning to date. Are there some stock phrases you’ve said, or been told, that eventually led to a breakup? Let us know if there’s a phrase that rubs you the wrong way. And let us know if you’ve found some great alternatives to these phrases, to enhance the conversation and lead to greater closeness with your Relationships!
